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To Make EnoughHealing from Loneliness and Despair
There arises wisdom from within the Tibetan Buddhist traditions, which reminds us that, ultimately, all of our healing must come from within. The Buddha repeatedly gave insights which allow us to understand that our grief, sorrow, loneliness, desolation, despair, depression, arise from our own suffering, which arises from not realizing who we are, that we are whole and complete, luminous beings, at one with universal consciousness. We are already realized, whole, complete. It is where we fix our attention that creates the illusion of separation versus the joy of awakening (keep in mind that “Buddha” simply means “the Awakened One.”)
Much wisdom around these illusions of separation also speak to that suffering that arises from our attachments, not just to objects, but even more to outcomes. When our beliefs and expectations of how things are, should be, or are going to be, are attached to a particular perspective or outcome, this is most often when we become disappointed, and thus our grief and sorrow, or other encumbered thoughts and feelings arise.
When we put this in perspective, we empower ourselves to make more clear observations, and rest in the ‘inner jewels’ of stillness, silence, or spaciousness, from which inner wisdom can arise, free of sorrow or illusion, simply witnessing what is.
Another even more empowering aspect of this wisdom arises from the earlier teachings of Buddhist wisdom in Tibet, where the teachings focused more on ‘satisfaction’ than on ‘attachment’. If one is not satisfied, it is because we do not realize our fundamental nature, of awakened, enlightened, joy and bliss-filled beings, at one with All Life. If we can let down our guard, our wound, our misbelief that we are not whole or complete, not deserving or worthy, not beautiful, not ‘enough,’ we can enter a state of ‘satisfaction.’ And, again, ‘dissatisfaction’ is an illusion that is the creating point of our suffering.
The empowering point in this realization is the very nature of “satisfaction.” For, to ‘satisfy’ is to ‘make enough.’ (Webster) Within the very meaning of the word is the very solution for the outcome. In order to be satisfied, we must ‘make enough.’ And, while, in the end, the Buddhist wisdom is that we are already whole and complete, in the passage to that realization, it can be quite empowering to take responsibility for the outcome. And, this is where we learn to ‘make enough.’
If I am not feeling whole or complete, if I am wallowing in a state of loneliness or despair, if I am suffering from wounds or violations, if I am residing in fear, isolation, separation, loss or grief, unworthiness, etc., if I am able to realize the ultimate responsibility for my satisfaction is to ‘make enough,’ to self-generate, then I am on the path to wholeness, completeness, satisfaction.
(You can join with me, now, in this practice, as a guided meditation, as you continue to read, or after reading the balance of this article and practice.)
Let me at this moment, turn to those ‘inner jewels’ of silence, space, or stillness, resting in the inner sanctum of my heart, until I can experience and generate, recognize or allow, one of these inner jewels, bring it into a state of completion. Let me pick one. For now, I choose to rest in stillness. You may choose another. But I, in this moment, choose to step into the inner sanctuary of the heart, and for this moment, I choose to feel, experience, or generate a felt sense of stillness. I rest in that stillness. If another thought or feeling arises, without effort, I recognize and honor it, but draw it into the inner sanctuary of stillness, focusing my mind on the nature of stillness, recognizing or generating it from within, and I simply watch the other thought or emotion dissolve in the wellspring of stillness. I recognize that some of my commentary may indicate an action, which is contradictory to resting in stillness. But it is a method of creating safe passage into the ever broadening perception of the sanctuary, the ‘jewel’, of stillness.
It is the attention placed upon stillness that generates the jewel.
I have space in my heart sanctuary, at this moment, for nothing but stillness.
If something else arises, I draw it into the heart
sanctuary, and watch the other dissolve in the mercy and beauty of the state of
stillness in which I reside, in this moment.
Each moment, I am but resting in stillness, insuring in my
inner sanctuary, this is where I reside.
If I have a larger life situation, which does not feel whole or complete, I can now intentionally draw that life situation into this sanctuary of stillness, to witness it, gain wisdom from viewing it from this inner sanctuary, find action of how to address it in my daily life from a place of pure or clear perception, (and the pure actions that, thus, arise from that,) or, I can simply dissolve it in this immense well spring of stillness.
In this inner sanctuary, with the wisdom that arises from resting in either of these jewels, I can realize I have the right, the responsibility, and the power to generate the love, life force, or wisdom to feel complete, to meet this life situation or challenge, to find satisfaction from within my own wellspring of being (which is now realized as a part of All Life.) I am whole, complete, or, in the least, now recognize that I have the power and wisdom to generate that which shall make me whole and complete.
So, if I don’t feel loved, I generate love.
If I feel betrayed, I generate compassion.
If I feel fear, I generate strength and insight.
Whatever my inner perception might be that does not generate satisfaction or fulfillment, from within this empowered place of perception, observation, and choice for action, I can make mindful direction to my life, to bring me to that place of completion.
It may require action in the outer world, or it may simply be resting in these inner states of realization and completion. Either way, I now am a jeweled and luminous being, more whole and complete, walking in the world with the serenity of knowing my own thoughts and actions arise from this inner sanctum of wholeness and wisdom. I walk with gentle knowing, strengthened grace and gratitude, a more clear sense of Self, and compassion for the thoughts and actions of others whom have not yet learned the lessons to bring them to this state of clarity and wisdom.
©2018 Zacciah Blackburn
The Center of Light
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